Aspergantus Syndrome

Time for some real life catching up:

Dateline, December 26, 2009. Florida...

The day after Christmas... some call it boxing day...

Weather forecast said there was a freeze warning, not a hard freeze, which usually means 8-10 hours below freezing, but just your average, everyday Florida freeze where it gets below freezing long enough to piss you off. Did I happen to mention there was a chill factor of 18 to 20 degrees because of winds? I think I might have left that small detail out.

Anyway, we live in the country, so city water is not our utility of choice... we have a well, and our aerator tank and pumps and piping are outside, exposed, with the exception of the section of pipe that runs to the house. It's buried quite nicely. Yeah, I know... the pipes, the pump and everything should all be surrounded comfy and cozy in a shed of some sort, commonly referred to as a pump house, but it hasn't happened yet, not that it isn't on the list of long term chores, it just hasn't hit the top of the list... yet.

In my infinite wisdom and quick thinking, at the last minute, I threw a tarp over everything, to protect it from the sub-freezing weather and winds, but I was afraid the winds were going to blow the tarp off. Here's where the wisdom really shines. I was out doing tractor work, you know, filling holes, moving compost, giving the equine poop machines more hay, yadda, yadda yadda (you know... I hate when people yadda, yadda, yadda me, so I'm going to take the yadda, yadda, yadda back... stop... edit... erase... rewind... adday, adday, adday, and I'll replace it with one simple etc) etc. I apologize for putting you through that... I'll try to control my yaddas in the future. OK... where was I... Oh yeah... my infinite wisdom was surfacing...

After throwing the tarp over the pumps and pipes, (OK...ready for the wisdom?) I decided to park the tractor close to the pump and hold the tarp down with the bucket. Worked like a charm! Not only did it hold the tarp down, but it acted as a wind break, so plus, plus!!

A day or so later, after the weather warmed up a bit, I went out to move the tractor, to do more tractor work. As I got closer to the bucket on the front of the tractor, I suddenly remembered the hydraulics has a slow leak. The bucket came down and smashed the pressure gauge on the top of one of the pumps. I peaked under the tarp and there were no leaks... No Sweat! I went to move the tractor and realized I didn't have the keys. Hot wiring a tractor is a piece of cake. It's diesel, so once you get the engine to turn over, it runs just fine whether the ignition is on or not.

So I got a screw driver out of the tool box on the tractor and proceed to poke around the started ,which is the primary target for hot wiring the tractor. Did you know that when you hot wire a tractor, you bypass all of the safety features, like now it suddenly no longer requires the gear shift to be in neutral before it'll start? Didn't know that? Neither did I.

Immediately upon starting, the tractor began moving... and I was no where near the part of the tractor where you can get on it to stop it... I was on the other side. Before I could finally get the tractor stopped, it had completely demolished every piece of PVC within a hundred miles. My post Christmas evening was spent rebuilding the entire plumbing/well system, by the headlights of my truck, in weather cold enough the see my breathe. Yeah... temperature dropped that night too...

I did more damage than hurricane Faye did 3 years ago...

My infinite wisdom cost me about $70.00 in PVC pipe and elbows and tees and glue and...

(wait for it... wait for it)

...and yadda, yadda, yadda....

Last Minute Shopping

Some of you may know, my wife works for a non-profit lower fee spay/neuter mobile animal hospital, called River City Community Animal Hospital. They are constantly in need of funds to help them to keep the hospital on the road. They are currently holding a raffle of a (Ok New England Patriot fans...listen up) jersey, worn and autographed by Tom Brady. Not just any shirt, but an actual game day jersey. The autographed shirt also comes with an official "Yesterday's Legends" Certificate of Authenticity. The tickets are $5.00 each or 5 for $20.00

Interested parties should visit http://www.rccah.org/ for details on the purchase of the raffle tickets for this once in a lifetime offer.









Even though I'm not a Patriots fan... I'm buying 5 tickets for myself!!

(Ladies, this will give you leverage for many years... use it wisely! lol)

Funk is on Hold

Ok... my yearly Christmas funk is offically on hold...


Merry Christmas EVERYONE

A Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

uh

Bullshit.

This is the most miserable time of the year... I hate it.

I wish I could craw into a hole and not come out until sometime in January.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Be safe.

Thank You

To my brother Jack,
To my nephew Travis,
To my nephew William,
To all American Veterans,

Thank You.
Thank you for putting on that uniform everyday.
Thank you for taking up my cause.
Thank you for fighting on my behalf.
Thank you for risking your life for me.
Thank you for helping to keep my country, the United States of America safe.
Thank you for keeping me and my family safe.
Thank you for giving America the most precious of gift of gifts, freedom
Thank you for making America the greatest country in the world.

Thank you for offering your life for me, the greatest sacrifice any person could ever make.

Thank you for all that you've done.
Thank you for all that you do.
Thank you for all that you will do.

From the deepest part of my heart and soul,

Thank You.

You make me very, very proud.

Gob Bless you.

God Bless America.

Hems, Memes, Limes, Mimes...MIMES!!!! please make them go away...please make them go away...AAARRRGGGGGG!!!!

Jean, our newest blogger entrepreneur (see and use the link on the upper right hand corner of this blog) has blessed little old me with 'Over The Top' blog award and at the very same time, has also cursed blessed me with a thirty-five FREAKIN question meme:


Where is your cell phone? In my pocket.
Your hair? Short for now, but I only get it cut twice a year.
Your mother? Living and still ornery.
Your father? Passed on to a better place.
Your favorite food? Chicken, could eat it for every meal, especially if I cook it!
Your dream last night? Not a freakin clue.
Your favorite drink? A nice glass of Riesling.
Your dream/goal? To win the W.C Handy Award.
What room are you in? Dinning room.
Your hobby? Playing guitar.
Your fear? Obama scares the living crap outta me.
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Retired
Where were you last night? At home, feeding the livestock.
Something that you aren't? Thin and bald
Muffins? What about them?
Wish list item? To get thin enough to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.
Where did you grow up? Wisconsin and Florida.
Last thing you did? Fed the Chickens.
What are you wearing? Jeans and a nice shirt for my gay collection (my wife bought it).
Your TV? Seldom on anymore, cable sux wind.
Your pets? You really want to go there???
Ok, sit down and take a break, this is going to take a bit... meet the livestock
Horses:
Ranger
Vanessa
Rosie
Mule:
Shiloh
Dogs:
Hopeless
Batgirl
Cats:
Amtrak
Q
Pinhead
Cookie
Mooch
Casie
Sonny
Chickens:
George (rooster)
The Buffs (two hens) no names
Opie (young rooster)
The Plymouth Rocks (all hens)
Dino
5 others (referred to as "The Girls")

Sorry you asked aren't you?
Friends? Few, but the few that I have mean a lot to me.
Your life? A medical merry-go-round, but things seems to be winding down.
Your mood? The full spectrum, happy, sad, quite, loud, mad, you name it.
Missing someone? Yes....
Vehicle? Ford F-150 and a 90ci Suzuki Boulevard.
Something you're not wearing? Underwear! HA... gotcha... weren't expecting that were you????
Your favorite store? Guitar Center
Your favorite color? Blue
When was the last time you laughed? Really gut wrenching laugh...can't remember, a small giggle, today.
Last time you cried? When the Doctor told me that I did NOT have cirrhosis of the liver.
Your best friend? Hmmmm I have a few friends, and they are all the best.
One place that I go to over and over? The inner sanctum in my mind, which is where I've been for the last few weeks, months, years???
One person who emails me regularly? Jean and vch.
Favorite place to eat? The Pig Barbecue



I'm supposed to pass this on to six other people. I'm afraid there aren't that many people visit this blog anymore, so I'm gonna piss my brother off and name him, ok That Dude, you're up!!

Is This Real? Me Thinks It Is Quite Real!!

I'm not sure if Arnold did this on purpose or not, but as far as this being a fake, well, ABC News ran with it, which doesn't mean squat, but it's out there. Read this then click here... but before you read it, there are two paragraphs in this letter. Read the first letter of every sentence down, and have yourself a good laugh.

I'm telling you, this is as funny as it gets....

SLACKER!!!!

WOW! I knew I was slacking, but didn't realize how bad... do you want to hear all of the excuses I can come up with or should I just move on... aw hell... here come the excuses...

1. I've been busy. (might be true).
2. I've been lazy. (more than likely true).
3. I've been pre-occupied. (guess that one falls under been busy).
3. My computer was down. (ooo.... that's a good one, not true, but a good one!)
4. I have Comcast Cable. (they invoke serious negative air pressure).
5. I've been involved in a plot to overthrow the Bama administration. (yeah me and 500 million others)
6. I've been hiding from the Bama cause he heard I was going to overthrow his administration. (yeah me and 500 million others)


Ok... ok... enough. It's number 2...

A New Threshold In Life

I became a Grandpa today (again), as my youngest daughter, my baby, blessed the world and me, with an 8 lb, 3 oz 21 inch baby boy, that I can't wait to see, but it'll be awhile, they live in KC Missouri, but that's ok, cause Momma and baby are doing fine and everyone is healthy.

(I love a good run on sentence.)

Tyler James... (what a great name!! ) welcome to the world! These are all my blogger friends... you'll like them very much.

I guarantee they'll like you....

This Just in....

Breaking News...

Kanye West just interrupted Patrick Swayze's funeral to let everyone know that Michael Jackson's funeral was better...

Film at 11:00

Fair and Balanced
We Deliver... You Decide...

Dance To The Music

I was in the bar yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my beer and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

It was then that I remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

Storm Update

I'm not going to give a blow by blow of these storms, but I do want to show you the progression of how the ebb and flow progresses until the storm either steers clear of the east coast and goes spinning off in to the much cooler waters of the north central Atlantic or actually hits the mainland.

As you can see, Ana is still only packing sustained winds of 40 MPH, but her speed has increased from 17 MPH to 23 MPH. That small but significant change in speed (hopefully) will not allow Ana to gain any strength as she passes over the bath tub commonly referred to as the Gulfa Mexico (see previous post for spelling explanation) and will prevent her from becoming a devastating hurricane. The other really important factor that you have to keep an eye on is the central pressure. Ana's is currently 1005 mb (measured in millibars)

millibar (ml-bär)
A unit of pressure equal to 0.001 bars. It is equivalent to 100 newtons per square meter, or 0.0145 pounds per square inch. Standard atmospheric pressure at sea level is 1,013.2 millibars.

So Ana's minimum central pressure is not much less than what is normally seen at sea level, but don't let a mere 8.2 millibars fool you. It can make all the difference in the world as the pressure continues to drop.



Bill, on the other hand is still traveling at a whopping 16 MPH, but his strength has increased to 60 MPH sustained winds. Just a mere 13 MPH increase and it will be a full blown hurricane. Bills pressure at 11AM is down to 997 mb. However, if you will notice, there has been a slight change in Bill's projected path, making it more of a problem for South Carolina (hopefully not). If it continues to keep swinging north this early, there's a good chance it will keep swinging become one of those storms that visits the middle of the north central Atlantic.



Central barometric pressure of a hurricane tells the strength and damage potential. Here are a list of the worst hurricanes to hit the states and their associated central pressure.

The Labor Day Hurricane, Florida Keys, September 2, 1935, Category 5, 892 mb, Approaching 200 mph
Hurricane Camille, Mississippi, August 17, 1969, Category 5, 909 mb, Approaching 190 mph
Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans, LA, Mobile, AL, and Gulfport, MS , August 31, 2005, category 3, 920 mb, 125 mph
Hurricane Andrew, Southeast Florida, August 24, 1992, Category 5, 922 mb, 165 mph
Hurricane Charley, Punta Gorda, Florida, August 13, 2004, Category 4, 941 mb, 150 mph

One more thing, to show the unpredictability of these storms, here's the path that Katrina took. Notice the sharp turn at south Florida... you just can't trust these things to follow any logic.



Thought I'd throw this one in just for laughs... they don't call it "Crazy Ivan" for nothing...

Just When I thought It Was Safe....

I'm ok with Custer (though he was wacked out), custard (mmm vanilla if you please), mustard (grey poupon preferably), bluster, bruster, buster (not touching it), huster, juster, kuster, muster, shuster, thruster.

I'm even ok with a little wind guster, even though they make me fluster, and sometimes, I hate to admit that I'm a luster, when her skin is full of lustre (chill... I'm referring to my wife), but I hate storms that come in CLUSTERS!!!

Here we go again folks. It's that time of year when the words or phrase of the season is "Hunker Down".

Dictionary: hun·ker (hŭng'kər)

v., -kered, -ker·ing, -kers.
1.To squat close to the ground; crouch. Usually used with down: hunkered down to avoid the icy wind.
2.To take shelter, settle in, or hide out. Usually used with down: hunkered down in the cabin during the blizzard.
3.To hold stubbornly to a position. Usually used with down: “As the White House hunkered down, G.O.P. congressional unity started crumbling” (Time).
n. hunkers
The haunches.

[Perhaps of Scandinavian origin; akin to Old Norse hokra, to crouch.]

Well... around here it means get out the Coleman stove and lantern, see if the generator is working, get ready to fill up the bath tub with water, make sure there is plenty of dry goods in the pantry... and be prepared to spend many days and nights listening to the wind blowing the rain against the side of the house and hope like hell no more trees fall...

Let me introduce you to two of the newest members of the Atlantic Storm Society. The first is Ana. Ana formed yesterday and is predicted to maintain the Tropical Storm Status until at least, the next 5 minutes... it's really hard to accurately predict what these things will do, but the National Weather Service thinks it's going to stay a Tropical Storm until Thursday... when it enters the warm bath like waters of the Gulf Of Mexico, or Gulfa Mexico as we refer to it in the south.

Do the clickety click thing on the two maps below to see the little white window that holds the current specs of each storm, or just look at the pretty little pictures in the smaller size if you are so inclined.


Next on our list of new comers is a quaint little storm called Bill. Bill officially was named today and as you can see below, as of the moment that this map was constructed, it appears it's headed for the Atlantic Coast of good old F-L-A, where me and a few million other people happen to reside.


Since I live in the State that probably sees (not necessarily experiences) more hurricanes, I've become somewhat of an amateur meteorologist. Though these images tell you what the National Hurricane Center predicts, it does not give you the whole story. So I usually go to a sight that will show you an 8 hours loop of water vapor over the storm area, to get a view of how fast a storm, in this case two storms Ana and Bill are growing and how big they're getting.

Guitar Hero

When most people hear the name Les Paul, they usuually get a vision of something like this...



and when they hear the term "Guitar Hero", this will quite often (these days) pop into their pointed little heads...



However, the only true Guitar Hero has passed.


Les Paul did more for Rock and Roll than any other single person, and he never played a lick of Rock and Roll music.

Say Hi to all of the rock and rollers in heaven Les, and rest in peace.